Category Archives: Humor

Gone soft

Posted on March 23, 2013 | 16 comments

Savvy readers will note that I was scheduled to run a half-marathon this weekend in Charlotte, North Carolina. At the end of last year, with 52 runs of varying lengths (including two half-marathons) under my belt, this seemed like a fine, if not genius, plan.

Almost four months later, my plan has gone slightly awry. I know it’s customary for running bloggers to post their training schedules for big races such as this one, so here’s mine.

Week 1
Monday: rest day
Tuesday: rest day
Wednesday: rest day
Thursday: rest day
Friday: rest day
Saturday: rest day
Sunday: rest day

Week 2
Monday: rest day
Tuesday: rest day
Wednesday: rest day
Thursday: rest day
Friday: rest day
Saturday: rest day
Sunday: rest day

Week 3
Monday: rest day
Tuesday: rest day
Wednesday: rest day
Thursday: rest day
Friday: rest day
Saturday: rest day
Sunday: rest day

You get the idea ….

I am sitting on a plane as I type this, on the way from Boston to Charlotte. Needless to say, I will not be running the half-marathon (although Hubby is). I was planning to switch over to the twilight 5K for tonight, but I got slammed with a nasty cold, so that didn’t happen either.

I have every intention of making this the last time I flake out. If I have to start from scratch and ease myself back into 5Ks again like, gasp, a novice, then that’s what I’ll do. Er, next week.

In the meantime, I have something to remind me of past glories. We finally, finally got around to having a T-shirt blanket made. Huzzah! It represents only about a third of the T-shirts that we own, but it is a good chunk of the cotton ones. We got it made through Project Repat, which creates fair-wage jobs in the U.S. by upcycling T-shirts, and I love it.

Gives a new meaning to bed shirts.

I am determined to shake off this new-found slothiness before the Pittsburgh Half-Marathon in May. I can’t let Jogging Jeans and Running Haiku think I’ve gone completely soft, despite the fact that my new blanket is exactly that.

16 Comments

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Running, Sports

Tagged 5K, half-marathon, training

Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds

Posted on March 3, 2013 | 11 comments

I guess I wasn’t kidding when I wrote at the beginning of 2012 that I needed something to keep running interesting (hence last year’s 52 Weeks, 52 Runs). Two months into 2013 and in the absence of a bona fide wallet-busting, sleep-depriving challenge, I have not only slowed down on the blogging front (wrist slap), but also on the thing I am supposed to be blogging about.

I’m thinking I should rename this blog Stride and Tumbleweeds.

It’s probably faster than me over 5K.

In keeping with the modern tendency to blame our failings on anyone/anything but ourselves, I have come up with the five causes of my recent lack of Stridery.

1. Winter

I ran in some truly biting New England conditions last year, but there was nary a snowflake let alone two feet of accumulation necessitating six hours of shoveling. We were supposed to run the Frozen Pilgrim 10K in Plymouth, MA, the weekend after Nemo turned my front yard into this:

Nemo comes to town.

The Sunday of the Pilgrim we were hit with another storm, and conditions were perilous. We had optimistically picked up our packets the day before, but when we looked outside the morning of, we realized it wasn’t going to happen. Amazingly, the run went ahead, but everything about the conditions screamed “danger!” so we decided not to go. It takes a lot for Hubby to turn down a run.

A week later, the Half at the Hamptons was also canceled days in advance due to forecasts of another weekend storm (third in a row). Hubby dutifully went and picked up his T-shirt at the event the race directors held to make up for the disappointment. Sadly, the weather turned out to be OK (if still slightly miserable) on the day, but the organizers made the right call.

We’re beginning to amass quite the collection of shirts for which we didn’t do the run (there are also a few from last year). I’m not sure what to do with them. If I wear them, even in the house, I feel like a fraud.

Continue reading →

11 Comments

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Running, Sports

Tagged 5K, beer, half-marathon, road race, training

The inside story: 1st Veterans Inc. Indoor Half-Marathon and 5K

Posted on February 5, 2013 | 10 comments

I guess it was a bit too much to expect that we’d get two nice, mild Northeast winters in a row. Granted, I’m not running races outdoors every weekend these days now that I’m done with the 2012 challenge, so I’ve been spared some of the horrible coldness of winter ’13. But not all of it. So when Hubby signed us up for the 1st Veterans Inc. Indoor Half-Marathon, Marathon Relay and 5K in Hartford, Ct., I was excited by the idea of a winter run that didn’t involve numb feet and 50,000 layers of clothing.

Apart from being my first-ever indoor race, this also checked off another box: It was my first event in Connecticut, bringing my U.S. running states total to nine. Yay! (My U.S. states travel total is 41, but that’s another story.) It was also for an amazing cause. Veterans Inc. is the largest provider of services to military veterans and their families in New England, helping out with housing, reintegration, employment, etc. There are very few other causes that would entice me to run a race with only six other people …

My competitors in the 5K.

That’s right, I said six. The organizers of this half-marathon/marathon relay added a “no-frills” 5K at the last minute, and it didn’t attract much of a crowd. I initially wasn’t thrilled with the idea of being so, er, on display, or by the prospect of coming last. But like I said … good cause.

The run was on the concourse level of the XL Center in Hartford. So for the 5K, that meant 15 laps. That’s 15 times running past concession stands that normally sell beer and pricey hot dogs. And 15 swings by the small crowd of half-marathon spectators who had gathered. They were very polite and applauded every time I ran by. I wasn’t sure what to do. Smile? Wave? Smile and wave?

About five laps in, my face was on fire. I’m talking full-on inferno. It was crazy hot on the concourse track, and despite wishing there were beer stops each of the 15 times I ran by one of the closed concessions, it was not to be. There were 15 water stops though. I kept sneaking in a walk at the other side of the loop, away from the audience, but there was a lone medic there to witness my shame. About seven times. Oh well.

I was dying of heat exhaustion by the time I got to the final lap, having realized about 25 minutes earlier that I was overdressed for the occasion (note to self: no tights indoors), but I somehow managed to squeak under 30. Again.

And I didn’t come last! OK, so I was five of seven. But I’ll take it…

Crowd gathers for the start of the half-marathon and marathon relay.

Oh, and Hubby, who decided to do both the 5K and the half that day (the only person to do that) won his first 5K ever. The half had considerably more participants, and it was dizzying fun to watch them do their 64 laps.

This indoor-racing business in the middle of winter is genius. For those in the area, Veterans Inc. is having another one of these, Dec. 28 at the DCU Center in Worcester, MA. You should all go.

The event: 1st Veterans Inc. Indoor Half-Marathon and 5K
The location: Hartford. Ct.
The date: January 26, 2013
My time: 29.55
Hubby’s time: 20.22 (5K) / 1.32 (half—a PR too!)
The T-shirt: None for me; army green tech tee for the halfers
The cause: Veterans Inc.

10 Comments

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Running, Sports

Tagged Connecticut, indoor 5K, indoor half-marathon, XL Center

Down with it: Second Quincy Frozen 5K

Posted on January 30, 2013 | 17 comments

There wasn’t any doubt that Hubby and I were going to do the second Frozen 5K in Quincy, MA. For one thing, it’s right in our ‘hood, meaning we only had to drive for 10 minutes in order to be there 90 minutes before the start. For another, it is hosted by our YMCA, where we go every Tuesday night to be lovingly tortured by our trainer, Mary, in a class called Strength and Stride. Mary and most of our classmates were also doing this run.

And then there’s the fact that I couldn’t pass up a second stab at one of the most glorious downhills ever. Here’s what I said about it last year …

“… Which brings us back to the delicious descent that helped me feel so (briefly) speedy. Momentously, I had to stop for a couple of seconds at the bottom because I was going too fast, and was perilously close to falling down. But I stayed upright and posted a significantly improved personal record. In a shocking twist, I even felt as though I could go a little farther.

Hills, I think perhaps I have been too hard on you.”

OK, so I was obviously experiencing some kind of delirium when I wrote that final bit. But there’s no doubt that it was an epic descent.

Chilly, but the clouds burned off just before the start.

Seeing as I’d done this run before, I had a pretty good idea of how it was going to go down. Although, this time I had an audience so I wanted to put in a shame-free showing. But I was feeling crabby beforehand, and my IT band was still giving me gyp, so I didn’t have high hopes. (When do I ever have high hopes?)

The first mile was slow. I want to say it was because I was saving my reserves for the other side of that glorious descent, but, no, I was just slow. I started running with one of my Y classmates, but she was worried she’d hold me back and was keen to run her own race, so I slowly inched ahead. (I know how she felt; I’ve only run a handful of races with a buddy. I like to work alone.)

The second mile was better. Not in-the-zone better, but better.

The final mile contained the aforementioned hill, which looked like this:

Trust me, it’s steeper than it looks.

I would have snapped a picture as I was hurtling down the other side, but I was, er, too busy hurtling down the other side. The nice thing about a race you’ve run before is that you know exactly where it’s going to finish. (Better than a GPS any day.) It meant I could go like a bat out of hell over the final quarter of a mile. So bat-like was I that I somehow managed to squeak in under 30 minutes again for only the second time ever. I was very excited. My triumph was extremely hill-assisted, but I’ll take it.

The event: Frozen 5K
The location: Quincy, MA
The date: January 6, 2013
My time: 29.56
Hubby’s time: 19.37
The cause: South Shore YMCA
The T-shirt: No T-shirt for me (I registered too late)
The aftermath: Bananas, oranges, chowder, Subway

17 Comments

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Running, Sports

Tagged 5K, Boston, Quincy, road race

I ran 52 races last year and all I got was…

Posted on January 28, 2013 | 19 comments

… this massive T-shirt collection (nothing lousy about it, really).

Here they are, in all their frequently ill-fitting glory. This represents the sum total of all the shirtage from last year’s 52 Weeks, 52 Runs challenge. Yep, this is just 2012. There’s more from 2011 here. I love seeing what race directors come up with, hence my obsession with posting pictures of shirts.

Unfortunately, this also chronicles just how badly the majority of these fit me. I believe I have enough bedwear to last me the next three decades. From the 50 shirts I got last year (we missed out on a couple because we signed up too late), a few stand out. So, for the two of you who may be interested, herewith my Top 5, er, tops.

1. Shark Weekend 5K
2. Feaster Five
3. Super Sunday 5
4. Wineglass Half-Marathon
5. Stowe 8-Miler

Honorable mentions, because I love the graphic and color but won’t ever be able to wear them outside: Prone 5K, St. Charles Children’s Home 5K.