Cold runnings: when it’s perfectly acceptable to dress like a superhero

It’s well documented that heat is my No. 2 nemesis (No 1: hills), so I was quite keen to give cold running a try. But there’s cold and then there’s standing-around-at-7.30am-in-New-England-waiting-for-the-run-to-start cold. Herewith, what I’ve discovered first-hand about dressing when your runs take place in a giant fridge. (Of course, my upcoming events are set to take place in a giant freezer, so stay tuned for “Part Two: What the heck was I thinking?”)

Feaster Five

My duds for the Feaster Five Thanksgiving Day race. Note, fancy tights.

1. The outfit is ridiculous. Where outside of comic books is it OK to roam the streets in shorts over tights? Unfortunately, tights aren’t made to carry an iPhone, an asthma puffer, a lip balm, a hairband and a packet of tissues, so, for me, shorts with giant pockets are mandatory. One day, I’ll rule the world in them! Bwahahaha.

2. OK, I concede the tights are fabulous. Avid readers will recall the  concern I had over my new CW-X Insulator Expert Tights and their circulation-hampering properties. But the tights are genius. They are remarkably warm and indeed have many insulating skills. I’ll take the company’s word for it that they also support my muscles and help them bounce back faster.

3. Bulky gloves are unwise. It was a rookie mistake wearing heavy-duty winter mitts. Who knew hands could sweat so much? And they make it impossible to get anything out of your pockets. (Forget trying to pull the top off an asthma puffer.) Also, when your hands are on fire and you have to take the gloves off, there’s nowhere to stuff them. Disaster.

I replaced them with Lululemon’s Brisk Run gloves, which are not only thinner, they can be used to compose that crucial mid-run text message (“Forget this, I’ll meet you at the bar!” perhaps?) thanks to those smartphone fingertip dealies.

LL Bean Women's Cresta Wool Base Layer4. Merino is your friend. Wearing cotton as a base layer on a cold run is a very bad idea. Or so I discovered. Cotton lets sweat linger on your skin, turning you into a walking block of ice when you start to cool down. I bought the LL Bean Women’s Cresta Wool Base Layer, made of merino, which has serious wicking abilities (I love how the word “wicking” has crept into my life). It’s also toasty warm. And it has thumb holes …


5. Thumbs up for thumb holes.
Where have you been all my life?

Feet accompli: Miss Santa Holiday 5K

We took another trip to Crazytown last weekend and registered to run two 5Ks. Both were a blast, although thankfully only one of them required me to wear facial hair and oversized novelty felt pants. The other, a decidedly more serious affair (despite the presence of a number of saucy Miss Santas), was the occasion of a major milestone for me: I RAN THE WHOLE WAY!

Miss Santa Holiday 5K

Runners gather along the Charles River in Boston for the Holiday 5K.

This is huge. In my previous life, I couldn’t even run up the street without wheezing like an old man and stopping to catch my breath. And while I still wheeze like an old man, and often need to take my asthma puffer during a run, being able to do a 5K without pausing is something I never thought I would accomplish. Ever. (Granted, until six months ago, I hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about running.)

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I, Claus: Santa Sightings 5K Fun Run

I’ve spent more time than I would have thought necessary trying to figure out how to dress for cold runs. So I was grateful for the folks at last weekend’s Santa Sightings 5K for removing the uncertainty, although I was still in two minds about having to wear a beard.

Santa Sightings 5K Fun Run

The Santas gather in downtown New Bedford, MA.

The Santa suits were provided and mandatory at this New Bedford event. Which meant 1,600 men, women and children decked out in full jolly-fat-man regalia, including pants, jacket, belt, hat, and the aforementioned facial hair. The “Santa Run” is apparently a worldwide phenomenon – one that appeared to have passed me by in the Before Time (i.e., when the thought of running even a single block was hysterical) – and this was its New England premiere. Trust me, Santas en masse is amusing, but Santas running en masse borders on hilarity.

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There with bells on! Jolly Jaunt 5K, Boston

I turned up to the Jolly Jaunt 5K in Boston wearing a pink beanie. This may have been a mistake. In a sea of festive red and green, I stood out like, well, someone wearing a pink beanie.

Jolly Jaunt 5K

The red green show. (One for the Canadians.)

While it may have appeared as though I didn’t get the message about the dress code, my headgear had more to do with the fact that I didn’t fancy riding the train alone looking like an elf (this 5K was a solo affair, as Hubby was off Guarding). I assume the woman who turned up as a Christmas tree didn’t have to subject herself to the indignities of public transport. Or maybe she just has more balls. (Balls, get it? She’s a Christmas tree! Oh dear.)

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My own private Everest: Pentucket Pride 5K

After the massive crowd and silly millinery of the Feaster Five, the Pentucket Pride 5K, at Pentucket Regional High School, in West Newbury, MA, was a laid-back affair, with 223 runners gathering on a foggy morning to support the high school’s athletic programs.

Pentucket Pride 5K

Runners at the foggy start of the Pentucket Pride 5K.

The course had been described as “challenging,” which, as my avid readers (!) know, puts the fear into me. In road race language, “challenging” always means “hilly.” Just once I’d like there to be a water hazard or something. You know, to shake it up a bit.

This helpful poster at the entrance to the high school cafeteria, where we gathered pre-race, did little to comfort me …

Pentucket Pride 5K

I may have peaked.

Sure, it may not seem so steep if you look at the numbers, but trust me, on a damp and chilly day, it was basically Everest.

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