I’m a bit late to the Christmas party with this post, but oh well …
There are some looks I can pull off, but “Santa” isn’t one of them. I came to this conclusion last year at the inaugural Santa Sightings run in New Bedford, MA. In a sea of 1,200 Clauses, I may well have been the most dodgy. My jacket didn’t fit, my pants were too short, and my beard was an epic fail. This is what I wrote back then: “I looked more like a dumpy, slightly shady elf than a spreader of joy.” Yep.
Nonetheless, we decided to revisit Santapalooza in 2012, because we really, really wanted two more awesomely bad red felt suits to add to our collection. So handy for parties …
I guess not. We ran it again because it’s amusing to see a downtown overrun (literally) by many identically dressed but radically different-sized Santas. And it’s nice to participate in a race in which the majority of people are there purely for the fun of it. Also, it’s an untimed event, meaning Hubby and I can run together without it seriously messing with his average. We very rarely get to run together.
Five minutes into this 5K, however, I think he was rueing the day the race organizers decided to forego timing chips. Sure we got to run as a duo, but alongside him was the hottest (not the good kind), sweatiest, most complainy Santa ever …
Note to self: When it’s 50 degrees out and you know you have to run in a Santa suit, you might not want to wear that extra layer of winter warmth underneath. Man, was it hot. I felt like I lost an elf’s worth of weight over the course of 30 minutes. The giant hill at the beginning didn’t help my discomfort, but I probably could have managed it if I didn’t feel like I was running in my own personal sauna. Note to self: Dodgy felt does not breathe.
The fact that my pants were so massive they sat right under my boobs didn’t exactly help either. At least they went all the way to the ground this time. (They were a size small; clearly made in the same factory that does the race shirts.)
My grouchiness was countered somewhat by the amusing sight of pieces of Santa suits scattered along the course—jackets that had been discarded by overdressed Santas on the verge of heat exhaustion, and bits of fabric that had come away from rapidly disintegrating pants. What can I say, these suits are of suspect quality. The supplied plastic belt is its own special kind of dodgy—so much so that we brought our own leather versions this year. At least the edges of my jacket came together this time. Last year, my ill-fitting top half made me look as though I had been hitting the turkey a little too hard.
Needless to say, this was a tough run for me. I eventually thought to pull my jacket off my shoulders so it was swinging around my waist, but the heat slowed me down and I was breathing much harder than I should have been. Hubby was practically walking. I got a second wind during the final mile, but I was still too hot. Who needs Rudolf when there’s my red face to light the way?
There was a timing clock at the end, but I barely glanced at it as we crossed the finish (OK, for the record it had a three and a three on it). Bad Santa.
One run to go!!!!! Can you believe it?
The event: Santa Sightings 5K
The location: New Bedford, MA
The date: December 8, 2012
Our time: 33 something
The T-shirt: Red long-sleeved tech shirt
The aftermath: Bananas, Larabars, other food that I can’t recall